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December ✦ General Updates

Posted in meta

Haven’t done one of these for a while. I was super hype of having a blog again, only to like, never use it. I guess I found myself either busy or just too blah to actually write something here. I also felt I was posting upcoming content and then not doing it, which kind of stressed me out a bit.

What is going on with my art?

Ok, so uh, to be honest, I think I’m not going to do the semi-realism style anymore. I may do it for small things, but generally I am discontinuing the style. There are a few reasons which I am comfortable sharing.

The main reason is I just simply like anime and my webcomic style turned into anime (even though I didn’t want to) and then I started Vtubing which is also inherently anime. Once upon a time, I drew anime in my youth. It was cringe as fuck, but there were a few pieces I did like and felt I was improving over time. Then I went to art school and after being told my art is shit and talked down to. I have never felt more ashamed of my art and moved into drawing more semi-realism. I knew at first it would look like shit, but over time there was some progress and really liked some of the older pieces. I tried to push that style into a webcomic which I think was my mistake. And while this is all going on, I am still watching and playing anime stuff. I felt like I was juggling things I enjoyed (anime stuff) while trying to draw characters from that genre in my semi-realism style. I honestly think when I did drawings like that, it just didn’t attract the attention I thought it would. I think it’s really cool when an anime character is drawn in a different style, but just maybe my style isn’t suited for those types of characters. I’m sure those reading this will think ‘omg she’s complaining again that no one likes Somber’s art’, and yes, I really do think it’s true. I really lost my way on what I wanted and my presence online suffered because some old stemheads in art school shamed me for drawing how I wanted, convincing me the real world didn’t like this shit.

Now, this was a time before Twitter and Tumblr had just kind of started taking off (showing my age). Not that I didn’t get a huge following (thanks to Homestuck), but after dropping my anime art, starting a new handle and drawing in a different style, just couldn’t really get any of that success back. I could have changed my style at any time, but I really liked how my characters turned out in that style. And while drawing for myself is great and all, I do want to dabble in the fanart space to get at least some visibility.

I think what really turned it which is mainly how my webcomic turned into a more anime style that is super easy to draw in. I realized my webcomic was pretty much dead on arrival with the style and pacing, but it’s picked up a bit. I know anime style is very popular even for western comics so I’m just going to embrace it from now on. Vtubing of course, contributed a lot with it being anime too. While working on stream assets, I did an anime style drawing and really love how it turned out. Another benefit I also see is that my semi-realism would literally take weeks to finish and if the face looked even a bit off, I felt I was spending extra hours always adjusting it when I would re-open the file. By the time I finish my semi-realism drawings, it just felt like a chore and just did not like it after.

So all that word vomit, long story short, from now on, I’m drawing anime. I’m sorry for anyone waiting on me to open commissions for that style. That style is just not me.

Lack of updates to the webcomic

Just been depressed and stressed. It’s nothing new. World is falling into chaos, hysteria and tyranny; I’m just sitting at home trying to avoid the MSM and stay healthy. Other more personal things, people I know just going on hiatus from their projects (webcomics, streaming, etc), people quitting at my work that I’ve worked with for years. People just overall seem generally upset?? When I read posts on twit, just people sound like they are miserable over something or something is bothering them (but I’m doing the same thing tbh by posting personal shit). Numbers and my stream being so close to Twitch affiliate yet so far. Been trying to make streamer friends but just so anxious. Trying to find my stream identity. While my Blue Archive streams have been super successful, I really don’t want to be a full time Blue Archive streamer; I just am not that invested in the game and I’m not interested in meta-building.

Also, making a new Vroid model with a custom features in Blender took a fair amount of time. Only positive part of this experience 🤣

I did update twice this week and preparing scroll format for Webtoon and Tapas (hopefully this weekend).

Everything else

Man, I am so cringe. I won’t specifically say what I did (yet). I’ll announce it later if I remember but I’m just hoping nobody remembers (even though nobody knows what I’m talking about) and I also just forget about it.

Everything else part 2

This is the part where I list my plans and see if I can accomplish any!
✦ Make a main design for my avatar (maid cat design for Vtuber is like alt/temporary)
✦ Make the fucking model 😎
✦ Fix up my cat model
✦ Get avatar working for VRchat
✦ Finish streaming playthrough of Amnesia and start new game
✦ Make a proper Twitch profile (with banners and stuff)
✦ Draw some fanart I’ve wanted to do for a while
✦ Work on my webcomic
✦ Work on my other webcomic
✦ Spend way too much on gacha games
✦ Draw Grima

Thanks for reading if you made it this far ✌
somber 🌷🌼🌻